You sit across a desk from a [[woman]] with pink hair, horn-rimmed glasses, and a ferret draped across her shoulders. The wall behind you reads "TEMP AGENCY" in bold comic sans. The wall behind the woman shows a picture of Bill Murray.
After describing your desperate financial situation to the woman, she reaches into a mini-fridge and removes a file, placing on the desk.
"Let me show you a great opportunity," she says.
[[Okay|job1]]
[[I'm gonna split]]
After delicate social probing, you discover that the woman's name is Zinnia. After even more delicate social probing, you discover that the ferret's name is Jane. Zinnia is excited to be here because she has just been promoted to manager of the temp agency you have found yourself in, and your fate is the first of which she has guidance of without the interference of procudural guidelines.
[[Okay|Temp Agency]]
"I knew when I saw you that you would be perfect for this job," Zinnia exclaims.
"I don't know if you're aware, but today's modern offices are fraught with an overabundance of substances that impede the righteous workflow that has become the cornerstone of American society. If you accept this job, you will be hailed as a hero of efficiency. Angels will sing your praises to the top floors of every office building. Yes, you will be the world's premier butadiene removal specialist!!"
[[Take the job|job1etc]]
[[I'm gonna split]]
You get up to leave the room and walk into a long hallway. After walking for several minutes, you begin to notice a slight curvature of the hallway. After several hours of walking past the same vending machines and the same walls, you finally see a door. Your feet are tired, your body is weary. You open the door and are relieved to see a chair.
[[Sit down|Temp Agency]]
After accepting the job offer Zinnia described, you begin your first day of work.
You arrive at a warehouse filled floor-to-ceiling with desks and tables of all kinds. A man with a box of putty knives enters.
"Here's your scrapers, kid," says the man.
Confused, you ask him to elaborate. Weren't you here to be the world's premier butadiene removal specialist?
"You see kid, your job here is very simple. You take the scraper, you put it on one side of the gum, and you move the scraper forward."
It suddenly dawns on you that you were hired to scrape gum from the underside of tables. A wave of melancholia rushes over you. You leave and storm straight back toward the [[temp agency|job2]].
"I knew when I saw you that you would be perfect for this job," Zinnia exclaims.
"You know what the most popular thing in the world is? Music. It unites us. There is no known society that doesn't have music. Such an important part of humanity needs you."
You're excited. This could be your shoe-in to the music industry, and your chance to be a rock star!
[[Take the job|job2etc]]
[[I'm gonna split]]
After accepting the job offer Zinnia described, you begin your first day of work.
You enter a room, bobbing your head up and down, excited for your big break. A woman in high heels greets you.
"Let me take you to your instrument!" says the woman.
You follow her into a smaller room with flickering flourescent lightbulbs, and she rapps her knuckles on a large beige photocopier. "Here ya go!" she says.
A large stack of file boxes sits next to the photocopier.
"Try to have these all copied by three or you're out of here."
It suddenly dawns on you that you were hired to be a copyist, no rock star. You would have rather been a session musician on triangle.
A wave of melancholia rushes over you. You leave and storm straight back toward the [[temp agency|job3]].
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